


The Fine Art

by greengirl82



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Friendship, Humor, Oral Sex, Smut, Teaching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-05
Updated: 2012-06-05
Packaged: 2017-11-07 00:57:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/425178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greengirl82/pseuds/greengirl82
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Emily, JJ and Garcia meet a woman who teach them the fine art of pleasure..</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Fine Art

"A woman's appetite is twice that of a man's; her sexual desire, four times; her intelligence, eight times." Author Unknown

 

"All right ladies, do you know what these are?" the older blonde woman asked the three younger women.

"Those are vibrators" Emily said giving Garcia and JJ a peculiar look, "No offense Sadie but we're not exactly amateurs in that department."

"No, I suppose you aren't" Sadie told them, "But in fact there is a difference in the libido for sexual desire. What I want to teach you all is what precipitates in the human body for arousal. Not just physical but also mental too."

"You want to teach us about arousal?" JJ asked with a raised eyebrow, "Listen Sadie, but we already know about sex. What we want to learn are new techniques, that's why we called you."

Sadie threw off her sweater, "All right ladies, I know you're all experienced and what not, but this is a fine technique. It's not exactly something that can be told, so will you let me get back to my work?"

"Sorry" Garcia said, "Go on."

"Thank you" Sadie said, nodding her head in Garcia's direction, "You all know what we want at the end game to be, what everyone wants, orgasms."

Emily cleared her throat, looking over at the pink cheeked JJ.

"What?" Sadie asked looking over at the flustered young blonde.

"I haven't had one in about six months" JJ said, "In fact I haven't had sex in about eight months."

"Eight months" Garcia said loudly, causing JJ to give her friend a glare.

"Say it louder, Garcia" JJ grumbled, "I don't think they heard you in the next town."

"Sorry" Garcia said, "But eight months? Jeez, what do you do?"

"Well you know" JJ said nodding to the vibrator on the table, "But it never ends the way I want. It's not like I'm seeing Will anymore. And I don't have a guy to give me a hand like you've got with Kevin."

"I hear you, sister" Emily added, she noticed Sadie giving her a speculative look, "Being declared legally dead puts kind of a cramp in the social scene."

"Ah" Sadie said, "Have you tried self satisfaction?"

"Tried, but it's not as fun without a partner" Emily told her, "Do you have any tips?"

"Well for masturbation, yeah but I thought you all wanted to know about the tips leading up to erotic stimulation with a partner." Sadie said, looking over at the other women.

"Yeah" Garcia said pulling out a pad and paper, she waved her fuzzy pen at the older woman, "Go on."

Emily and JJ shrugged and nodded for Sadie to continue.

"Dealer takes two" Hotch said, pulling out two fresh cards, he looked over at Morgan, "I thought you had plans with Garcia since Kevin went to that comic book thing."

"Comic-Con?" Morgan said shaking his head, "No, he went to some fan signing for one of his comic books. Garcia canceled on me, she had some Tupperware party planned with Emily and JJ."

"Tupperware party?" Dave repeated with a raised eyebrow, shaking his head, "One card."

Hotch passed Dave a card, "Yeah, Haley did a lot of those little parties with Jessica. Never got the point of them."

"Reid?" Morgan said pulling the younger man from his thoughts, "Hotch's talking to you."

"Huh?" Reid said, "Oh, sorry. One."

Hotch gave Reid a look, as he passed him a card, "What's wrong with you?"

"What?" Reid asked, "Nothing."

"Reid, you've been distracted all night" Dave said observantly, "You're withdrawn from the game, you're acting like an introvert."

"Don't profile me" Reid muttered, his mind flashing back to a conversation he had overheard that afternoon.

"Reid" Morgan said looking at his younger friend, "Talk. One way or another we're going to get this out of you, so spill it."

"It's about Emily's Tupperware party" Reid said closing his eyes.

"What about it?" Hotch asked frowning at what could be so important about a simple party.

"It's not a Tupperware party" Reid said quickly, "It's a sex class."

"What?" Morgan asked, his cards falling out of his hand, Hotch nearly choked on his beer while Dave raised an eyebrow at that thought.

"How do you know this?" Dave asked looking from Morgan to Hotch, all of them intrigued at that thought.

"You remember when I had to get the Miller information from Garcia?" Reid told them, "I overheard Garcia prodding Emily into hosting this... party at her home."

"Now I'd like to be a fly on that wall" Morgan chuckled, looking at Hotch and Dave, "Oh tell me like you're not all thinking it."

Dave shrugged, "Can't argue with that."

"So what do we do with this information?" Morgan asked Hotch, "I know this has even gotten to you. You know considering..."

"Considering what?" Hotch asked narrowing his eyes, he had made damned that none of them knew but they were profilers so they probably knew, even Reid.

"That you want Emily" Morgan said casually, not looking surprised by the looks he got, "Oh come on we all know. So what we need to do is go crash a little Tupperware party."

"No" Hotch said going back to the cards, Morgan and Dave rolled their eyes at that. This was going to be a challenge.

"So ladies, that demonstration was for the erogenous zone" Sadie said getting up off the floor.

"That was more then I needed to see" JJ said avoiding eye contact with the older woman, "Really, I could of lived with a DVD or even a slide show."

"You know, it's kind of sad that someone so young is so sexually repressed" Sadie told her, "You need to embrace your inner woman. Give her a roar, and let out the wild cat that is just dying to claw it's way out."

Emily snorted, "Yeah wild cat."

"Given the right context a person's desire is directed on sexual stimulation" Sadie informed the woman, "Body parts play a key factor with touching, kissing and petting erogenous zones."

"Really?" JJ asked leaning forward, "That works? Will never wasn't much into the hands on activity."

"Well others could lean towards the visual" Sadie told her, "Nudity and porn is one way. Depending on the age range younger woman are more aroused easily while older women's body produce less lubrication which changes degrees in satisfactions."

"Great, something to look forward to" Emily muttered, "Can we move along with this?"

JJ cleared her throat looking from Emily to Garcia. She wanted one of the other two women to ask Sadie about it, it wasn't that she wasn't outspoken or confident, she was just down right embarrassed about what she wanted to know.

It wasn't that she experienced in that area, she just wanted to do it the right way, and a sex therapist slash guru knew all the right ways.

"JJ?" Sadie asked, "Is there something you wanted to ask? You seem apprehensive."

Looking at her two friends, she wanted them to say something, they were the most vocal and outspoken out of all of them.

"Yeah, I wanted some advice about something" JJ said slowly.

"Advice?" Sadie repeated, her eyebrow raised. This had to be good, "What sort of advice?"

"Well not advice, more like a demonstration" JJ asked "God, I hope I'm not offending you."

"No, no" Sadie said, turning towards Emily and JJ, "What kind of demonstration? I mean what kind of sexual demonstration?"

"Certainly not what you showed us five minutes ago" Emily said, she wasn't usually apprehensive.

Emily prided herself about being more sexually liberated, despite her seven month hiatus. Death sucks a lot of down time, she thought wryly.

"Well I... we want you to show us some more things" JJ said, she turned to see Emily and Garcia nod in agreement, "Some certain things."

"A few things" Garcia added, "I mean Kevin's no slouch but there are certain things he likes and I'm not really use to it and I'd like to try out a few things."

JJ nodded, "There's something I really like doing but Will never really liked it..."

"Will never liked that?" Emily asked shocked, "Damn what kind of a guy doesn't like oral?"

"And you Emily?" Sadie asked, "What is it you'd like to work on?"

"I just want a learn a few new kicks, I mean I'm not lacking in the bedroom but seven months?" Emily said, "I think I might need a refresher course."

"For Hotch" Garcia whispered to JJ, Emily turned around and glared at the two snickering blondes.

Hotch stopped the car, dropping his head on the steering wheel, "You know Reid's right. This is just wrong."

Dave shook his head when he heard Morgan snort, "Yeah right Hotch. Now you grow a fear inducing conscience? Where was that little voice when we were stuck in midday traffic?"

"You know I'm kind of surprised the alpha male in you isn't storming into that house and demanding a role in that class" Dave said casually.

Reid looked down, feeling embarrassed that he was dragged into this, slapping him on the back, Morgan chuckled.

"Calm down, kid" Morgan whispered, "Its not like they're actually doing anything. It's just a class."

Dave chuckled when he noticed Hotch was staring at the house, "Come on. Lets go crash the 'Tupperware party'. I'm sure a good healthy male presence will alert them of what they've been missing."

Hotch snorted, "I knew this wasn't about me and my so-called feelings for Emily, this is about you and JJ."

Morgan smirked, "You do realize that you keep calling her Emily and not Prentiss anymore, right?"

"I can definitely recall several cases that were of sensitive manners where Hotch referred to Emily by her first name" Reid said, "The Benton case, Adam Jackson's case, the fall out with Doyle..."

"Stop it" Hotch said, irritated, he went up to the front door and paused, "The door is open."

Hotch motioned for the other men to follow suit, if Emily and the women were in danger he wanted to know. After all they were above all else, Federal Agents.

Emily held the object up in front of her, "You're joking right?"

Sadie shook her head, "Safety is key priority and these are safer then anything else."

"This just feels so weird" JJ said, looking over at Garcia who was studying it carefully.

"JJ, you said that you were afraid that you disappointed your former partner sexually" Sadie told her, "And Emily you said you were open to new experiences, this is a new experience for the two of you. Try."

"Yeah gumdrop, blondie, live a little" Garcia chuckled.

"You're sure this is safe?" JJ asked, "I mean, it's not like we'll stab ourselves or anything?"

Emily rolled her eyes, "There's a down and dirty way to do this right? I mean I haven't been doing it wrong all these years right?"

"There's really no right or wrong way to do it" Sadie said, picking up hers, "It's all about the person in the position. It's not like there's one way to do it. There are many variants and degree to it."

"Well I always had trouble breathing when I did it" JJ told Sadie, "I would be so embarrassed if while doing it, I ended up choking and passing out."

"Well do you enjoy it?" Sadie asked, "You have to keep your mind focused on what your doing, you can't go getting distracted while doing it."

"Well it's not like I'm try not to concentrate on anything" Emily told Sadie, "Wouldn't want to bite down."

"Yeah" Garcia said, "That wouldn't be pretty, especially for the guys."

"Here, show me how you two preform it" Sadie said, "Peel the banana and pretend it's a guy."

"In their fantasy" Garcia said holding up her banana, chuckling, "Kevin."

"I don't know" JJ said looking at the banana.

"You want to learn great oral sex?" Sadie said, "Show me your best work."

Emily looked over at Garcia, "Eh, could use the practice."

The two women peeled the bananas, Emily brought the fruit to her lips, making an 'o' shape with her mouth before sucking on it, working her mouth around the yellow fruit and popping it out as her tongue glided across the pointy top.

"Wow" Garcia said, impressed, "You obviously don't need no work there."

"JJ?" Sadie said, "You next."

JJ shoved the banana in her mouth clamping down, moving her head up and down on the fruit going hard on the inanimate object. She grumbled as she hissed and brought the fruit out.

"My God" Emily said surprised, "You ever bite Will?"

JJ raised an eyebrow then looked away "No but he'd deserve it" JJ said, "Look this wasn't one of my strong suits, ok?"

Sadie smiled, "You just need practice, JJ. It's a gentle, slow, medium slow action. Remember you don't want to bite of a guy's penis."

"That'll kill the mood" Garcia murmured.

"All right, ladies. Take your bananas and watch" Sadie said, "Remember you want to work your mouth and tongue across the top of penis and this isn't a race. Or a hot dog."

"So we get most of it in our mouths?" JJ asked, watching Sadie and Emily.

"Depth is the key" Sadie said bringing the banana in her mouth.

Not shoving it in, she worked her tongue across the tip of the banana, then her whole engulfed the banana pulling it out then licking it. She put it back in her mouth again, demonstrating it to the three woman.

"Wow, she gives the word deep throat a whole new meaning" Emily muttered watching Sadie work the banana in her mouth.

Removing the banana, "All right your turn ladies." Sadie told them.

Emily, JJ and Garcia followed her movements, each woman trying to keep up with the older woman's instructions.

Emily's head popped up when she heard a chuckle behind her and she pulled the banana out of her mouth.

Emily felt shock run out of her body when she turned to see Hotch, Dave, Morgan and Reid standing there with amused and shock on their faces.

"Well there's a sight to raise the dead" Dave said causing Emily to drop the banana on the patio table.

"Oh my God" Emily said.

"Oh my God" JJ said, "Sadie? Sadie are you ok?"

Emily turned around to see the woman coughing on her banana, "Are you ok? Are you... are you choking?"

Sadie nodded, her hand pointing to her throat. Emily rushed behind the woman, while Hotch and Morgan rushed over to them.

Emily moved her hands around the woman's frame and heard Reid giving her instructions on the Heimlich maneuver, she heard Dave countdown and pushed hard, hearing a residual coughing.

"Better?" Hotch asked while Reid handed Sadie some water.

Sadie was coughing as she nodded, then took a sip of water, she didn't seem to notice that the men were eyeing her products on display.

"Yeah" Sadie said her eyes watery and throat scratchy, "Thanks."

"Sorry" Dave said, "Didn't mean to scare her into... choking."

"So what are you ladies up to?" Morgan said with a smirk, "Because from where I'm standing it all looks like... You were all giving those bananas a little extra shot of protein."

Garcia raised an eyebrow, "We're experimenting."

"That's one way to put it" Hotch said trying to cover his smile, "Having fun?"

"Not so much" Sadie said rubbing her throat, then clearing it, "Emily, you seemed the most capable out of everyone in that department."

Morgan chuckled at that, while Dave raised an eyebrow at Hotch, as Emily muttered, "Thanks."

"Ladies, just keep on practicing" Sadie told them, clearing her throat, "Emily, I'm going to go. Good luck on everything. You're a natural."

Keeping her eyes focused on the ground, she lifted one hand to rub her forehead, "Yeah, thanks. I'll see you around Sadie."

"Later" Sadie said walking out the door.

"Well this has been entertaining," Dave said, "Sorry for dropping by unannounced, but well.."

"Yeah that was all Reid's doing after he heard about your 'Tupperware party'" Morgan, "No I don't ever remember Tupperware being this interesting."

Dave looked from Hotch, who had his attention solely on Emily, then looked at the team, "Say people how about we go out for lunch? My treat?"

"Anything but bananas" Garcia joked, smirking when she noticed Reid's cheeks turning bright pink, "Come on, Boy Genius lets go grab a bite."

"That sounds like a blast" JJ said turning to Hotch and Emily, "You coming?"

"I'll catch up with you guys later" Emily said grabbing the discarded bananas as the team minus Hotch left.

"You know I don't think I'll look at bananas the same way again" Hotch commented startling her, "Sorry."

"Fine" Emily said, "Two scares in one day..."

Hotch chuckled, "So did you have fun?"

Emily turned back around, "Just give me a ballpark average, how long are you going to be teasing me about this?"

Smirking, as he licked his lips, "That depends."

Raising an eyebrow at him, "On?"

"Whether you'll go out with me on a date" Hotch said exhaling.

Emily tried to keep control her emotions, "Oh, well... I guess I can do that. But..."

"But what?" Hotch asked.

Smirking, "I'd love to go get a banana split."

Hotch chuckled, "You can have more then one after dinner."

Hotch pulls her against him, as she whispered, "I love the way you think."

Hotch kissed her hard and passionate, "I enjoyed that show."

Whispering into his ear, "Then you'll love being the star of the next one."

 

"Sex is like snow, you never know how many inches you're going to get or how long it will last." Author Unknown


End file.
